Yep I have done most of what Is mentioned in this blog. I am the betrayed spouse. But what Samuel does not understand is the betrayed spouse that do these thing do them bc they just want the pain to stop. They want to feel
Good about themselves again. They want to be convinced staying was not settling for less than what they are worth of less than they deserve. We can’t go back and change the past but we want to feel like the sacrifice of staying is not taken for granted. And the only way to feel that is to see the work we have requested being done with a willingness and an attitude of thankfulness not being done As if it is some unfair burden of punishment. We want to see and hear communications that say I was broken and I broke everything but I am willing to do the work to figure out WHY I ALLOWED this to Happen. I will do the work To figure out WHAT WAS BROKEN IN ME not to blame life or marital situation for my choice to cheat. Because deep down in our hearts we know if your don’t do the work, if you won’t heal yourself, and if you don’t make the changes we are never really safe and we don’t want to have to end the marriage we fought so hard to try to save bc if the unfaithful doesn’t or won’t do these things then it proves to us that we were never worth it to you and emotionally that puts us dead level with your affair partners. We have only been here to serve your needs, wants, and desires. Or at least that is my story,, or maybe my excuse and justification to still be in a marriage way after I should have left bc of his lack of ability to do things request. He is not cheating but that is not the same as working to heal what has been broken.
Reasons or maybe just excuses I use.
Yep I have done most of what Is mentioned in this blog. I am the betrayed spouse. But what Samuel does not understand is the betrayed spouse that do these thing do them bc they just want the pain to stop. They want to feel
Good about themselves again. They want to be convinced staying was not settling for less than what they are worth of less than they deserve. We can’t go back and change the past but we want to feel like the sacrifice of staying is not taken for granted. And the only way to feel that is to see the work we have requested being done with a willingness and an attitude of thankfulness not being done As if it is some unfair burden of punishment. We want to see and hear communications that say I was broken and I broke everything but I am willing to do the work to figure out WHY I ALLOWED this to Happen. I will do the work To figure out WHAT WAS BROKEN IN ME not to blame life or marital situation for my choice to cheat. Because deep down in our hearts we know if your don’t do the work, if you won’t heal yourself, and if you don’t make the changes we are never really safe and we don’t want to have to end the marriage we fought so hard to try to save bc if the unfaithful doesn’t or won’t do these things then it proves to us that we were never worth it to you and emotionally that puts us dead level with your affair partners. We have only been here to serve your needs, wants, and desires. Or at least that is my story,, or maybe my excuse and justification to still be in a marriage way after I should have left bc of his lack of ability to do things request. He is not cheating but that is not the same as working to heal what has been broken.