It has been 3 years for me as well. There have been positive changes I think... many, many of those. They came as a result of some difficult work on her part but honestly, I have been too afraid to look at them. To look might mean having to face the risk of reinvesting in the relationship and allowing myself to become vulnerable again. I still lack the confidence in my own ability to discern the character of others. The fear that I might betray myself by becoming willingly vulnerable in the face of a proven threat is palpable and at times overwhelming. It is far easier to create my own narrative where the threats to myself are clearly known, these decisions are easy, personal defense is assured and confidence restored.
Joy, coincidence?
Thank you Joy,
It has been 3 years for me as well. There have been positive changes I think... many, many of those. They came as a result of some difficult work on her part but honestly, I have been too afraid to look at them. To look might mean having to face the risk of reinvesting in the relationship and allowing myself to become vulnerable again. I still lack the confidence in my own ability to discern the character of others. The fear that I might betray myself by becoming willingly vulnerable in the face of a proven threat is palpable and at times overwhelming. It is far easier to create my own narrative where the threats to myself are clearly known, these decisions are easy, personal defense is assured and confidence restored.