thanks for the kind words centralcoast. the reality is, we hate to have to suffer for what we did and yet sometimes, we feel awful watching our spouse suffer. the best thing we can do though, is lean in, and embrace what is happening and be there for our partner/spouse. i know it makes you want to pull back, but you have to be ok with uncertainty and you have to be ok with the pain that you caused. it's part of you being a safe person for them and part of you owning what you've done. many quit and pull back and give up when they see their spouse suffering as they can't handle seeing what their choices have done to their partner and that's unfortunate. no only have they betrayed their spouse, they won't help them heal and that's worse. stay strong. embrace it. dont let it lead to condemnation and self hatred. you'll be a better person for standing in the middle of your pain and choosing to help your spouse heal while also tending to yourself. one day at a time my friend.
its part of the process...
thanks for the kind words centralcoast. the reality is, we hate to have to suffer for what we did and yet sometimes, we feel awful watching our spouse suffer. the best thing we can do though, is lean in, and embrace what is happening and be there for our partner/spouse. i know it makes you want to pull back, but you have to be ok with uncertainty and you have to be ok with the pain that you caused. it's part of you being a safe person for them and part of you owning what you've done. many quit and pull back and give up when they see their spouse suffering as they can't handle seeing what their choices have done to their partner and that's unfortunate. no only have they betrayed their spouse, they won't help them heal and that's worse. stay strong. embrace it. dont let it lead to condemnation and self hatred. you'll be a better person for standing in the middle of your pain and choosing to help your spouse heal while also tending to yourself. one day at a time my friend.