Thanks for your reply, Erick.
I agree with you that the work situation has been tough on me. Initially, I wanted him to look for other work, but the economy stinks, and it is a very specialized field. I think if he landed in a job less stable that didn't work out, I would be even more resentful of the damage his affair has caused.
Lately, however, I have concluded that her behavior there has made him all the more sure he has done the right thing. She is extremely volatile at times, seems sort of "bi-polar" about the whole thing.
He has switched departments, and work schedules to avoid her. His desk is in a somewhat public area, which she and all employees must walk by to get to the restroom and lunchroom, though. That, and the monthly meeting are about all the contact. He changed his cell phone number, too, although, at one point she told him she would "get it" from another source since he has refused to give it to her. He is very turned off by her at this point.
Had he left immediately after D-Day, it seems he would still be remembering the good stuff, and maybe be more at risk if running into her? Or am I dreaming?
At any rate, her behavior has been described by our counselor as "passive-aggressive." My husband is by no means innocent, but this was so out-of-character for him after 18-years together. She was very aggressive (I learned by playing her messages-ouch!)
If ever there was harrassment coming from a female, this would be it. I don't think it ever goes that way.
Yes, I wish they didn't work together, but I'm slowly thinking she has buried any option of things starting up again.
Hope I am making sense.
Thanks for your reply,