How many times do I have to answer that question? “How many times will I have to answer the same questions about my affair?” This was the thought I had as my wife asked me once again, “Why did you have the affair?” It had been many months since she had learned of my yearlong affair. Immediately we got into counseling, and within weeks we attended an Emergency Marital Seminar Weekend with Affair Recovery (AR). From the early days of discovery, she asked this question – along with a myriad of others. At first I was resistant to come completely clean. But after a while, with good coaching from AR, I chose to be as honest as possible. Lying had gotten me into the hell I had created. I figured I would give the truth a chance. And it was a much better way. I am not saying that telling the truth was pain-free. Oh no – there was a lot of pain in the truth. But it was a whole lot better, and ultimately was necessary for healing to take place. So my wife asked the same question again. And again. And again. And I answered again. And again. And again. There were times when my answers were absolutely the same as before. But there were also times, due to my own personal work and self-discovery, that I was able to give greater clarity to a previous question. It was not that I had been withholding (like I did during the affair), but I had learned some thing new. So I could see the benefit of kicking that apparently dead horse one more time (Where did that expression come from, anyway?). And yet, most of the time the answer was the same. Nothing had changed since she had asked the question the day before. The week before. The month before. I wished that I could just tell her to refer to the page 22 of “Answers About My Affair.” But that would not have been profitable (FYI: I did not write such a document). I have learned that I need to answer her questions as many times as she asks them. It is all part of the process. It is all part of the journey. It is all part of rebuilding. And by the way, over time the questions do subside.