, 5 years 1 month ago

"Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money, the $#!* has Hit the Fan"
Warren Zevon

As a Christian, I always understood marriage to be a biblical union of two people, a part of God's plan for companionship as first illustrated in the Garden of Eden. Common text book definitions note a union of two people or a combination of two or more elements. While its roots are biblical, our society recognizes it as an institution, inherent with legal rights and responsibilities.

As we all know, healing and reconciliation in this arena takes significant time and work. The problem is, the legal system we use to institutionalize marriage does not give incentive to allow time to "wait...

, 5 years 2 months ago
affair recovery-survivors blog-chase-ramblings-if i am to sruvive, then i have to keep facing the darkness head on, and refuse to succumb to the temptation to try and sweep it away

Two years ago, I had my first d day. Wow, how my life has changed since. I find myself fighting darkness again lately. Perhaps it's the anniversary, perhaps its fatigue, perhaps it's a little bit of a lot of things… so I write to clear my head. This blog is simply the ramblings of a betrayed man in the weeds.

We recently moved. Some events in my working life late last year instigated a domino effect that resulted in my...

, 5 years 4 months ago
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As a real estate and small business attorney, I have always been drawn to the processes that emerge during real estate and business deals. Emotions run high at the hope of future opportunity in the early stages. As particulars are investigated, uncertainties become clearer and some risks become calculable. There is always a gap between what is known and what can only be projected. Ultimately, the constraints of resources and time merge to force a decision. It is in that moment that instincts prevail and the process becomes poetic. It is also in that moment that the uneasy feelings of uncertainty...

, 5 years 5 months ago
acceptance  the last stage of grief or the beginning of a true journey-survivors Blog-Chase-Acceptance Acceptance, The last stage of grief or the beginning of the true journey?

I've had the urge to write this blog for some time, but I keep finding myself putting it off. I know it will take some effort and may not flow as easily as some of the earlier ones. This process started for me when I heard a well-known quote from the famous philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard:

"Life can only be...

, 5 years 5 months ago
its not the experience of feeling anger that leads to negative consequences but how i choose to respond Oh the anger . . .

The visceral experience of being betrayed has triggered thoughts that consume my mind yet again. I haven't slept more than three hours straight in many months and the Benadryl I regularly take just leaves me feeling groggy. I only have two hours before I have to be in front of the first of many demanding clients today. My efforts to make it through the motions of my morning have been interrupted by my teenage daughter's demands. She desperately wants me to accommodate her schedule in order...

, 5 years 6 months ago
you can't do this alone-survivors blog-chase-angels amont us

During college, I had five very close friends. After graduating, we all moved off to separate parts of the country and began to conquer our small piece of the world. As time went on, somehow, we all wound up marrying women that got along with one another. A few summers later, we all rented a beach house together for a week just to reunite. The trip was such a success it turned into an annual ritual. One we have all kept sacred for over a decade.

The first night of our yearly reunions we would gather on the beach to catch up...

, 5 years 6 months ago
is change really possible-survivors Blog-Chase-Should-I-Stay-or-Should-I-Go

"Should I stay or should I go? If I go, there will be trouble. If I stay, it will be double . . ."
~The Clash

I am a child of schoolhouse rock, a product of the age in which skate parks were invented, parachute pants were high fashion, and most of the girls I wanted to date had big hair and blue eye shadow. Lucky for me I made one of those beauties my wife. Rebellion for her in our southern catholic high school (yes, I see the irony . . . especially considering we...

, 5 years 7 months ago
forgiveness isn't an ending act, but rather the beginning of a journey - survivors blog - chase

I drive a relatively new truck so I found it especially frustrating to pull out of the dealership repair shop only to find my "check engine" light was on. Again. This was the 4th time in a month I had gone back to the same dealership for the same repair. My witty and wise 14-year-old daughter was enjoying my frustration when she asked,

"Why do you keep going back to the bad haircut place?"

"What?" I replied confused and irritated.

, 5 years 7 months ago
you have what it takes to heal

Around age 10 or 11 they finally allowed us to steal bases in little league. This change transitioned the position of catcher from a simple filler spot that shagged stray pitches into an athletic position that saw action every play. I remember being pulled from the field and given the mitt. Game time came. A few pitches went by and a batter was on first. I found myself constantly distracted by the runner. As I anticipated his steal, the pitch would get by me. After multiple times I could hear the crowd's mumbled voices full of advice. I desperately began trying to apply everything I was...

, 5 years 8 months ago
There is Great Opportunity in What Lies Ahead

Our community is used to the threat of tropical weather. Usually, the early notices start with escalated threats that ultimately result in a windy rain storm passing over our area causing very little damage.

In the hours leading up to the arrival of Hurricane Michael it became obvious this storm was going to be different. At 100 miles inland, we were too far north to be part of the normal evacuation plan. Meteorologists began forecasting that the storm would still be holding hurricane strength by the time it reached us. Our home was well within the...

, 5 years 8 months ago
the more i grow in my own journey of self-discovery, the more i begin to see my situation from a higher level. author - chase

A good friend of mine, and fellow betrayed husband (yes, we met at an EMS weekend), coined it best when he said, "This isn't highs and lows; it's chutes and ladders." All of us on this journey have experienced the hope generated by progress. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the bottom falls out and in the moment all hope seems lost.

Which way is up?

I am now 16 months out from my first D-Day, 9 months from my last, and if there is one word that can describe the spot I seem to circle...