Six months ago I discovered my husband’s infidelity. I just had our third child and then 2 weeks afterwards my husband slept with a prostitute. My husband was only able to take a short amount of time off (1 week) to help with the new baby. But as soon as he returned to work, he looked and found a prostitute since I was not able to give him sex for the next few weeks while I am recovering from childbirth. How I found out was by a bill that came to our house addressed to him from the hospital. It was odd to me since he did not mention anything about going to the hospital. When I asked, he lied and said that it was for a random drug screen at work. It was hard for me to believe so I asked for the results if that was the case. Well, he couldn’t lie his way out of that so he admitted he did go to the hospital to get himself checked out because he was afraid he got an STD from the prostitute. He came clean and confessed that this was not his first time, he had had multiple prostitutes over the course of over 2 years. He became fixated with porn that lead him to the temptation of prostitutes. I was furious. My post-raging hormones were off the charts. When asked why, his excuses were that he felt deprived, wanted something different, and more excitement in our sex life. He doesn’t want a relationship, just sex. It made me more angry at how he tried to compare cheating with prostitutes was less detrimental than having an emotional affair with another woman. Truth was he needed to maintain his web of lies. I think my husband may be a sex addict. He has always had a higher sex drive than me and intimacy to him is sex. So at this point, I am ambivalent about our marriage. I don't want to continue being with a person who is weak and sexually driven. I am hurt and still angry thinking about what he did and the possibility that he could have transmitted an STD to me. His actions were careless and selfish. He doesn’t deny that there’s something wrong with him, but he won’t admit what that can possibly be. He says he wants to change but his actions thus far are contradicting because he only thinks about himself. Is it possible for my husband to change that ingrained trait? I hope HH can provide clarity and hope for me. I’m having a difficult time seeing my husband as a good person now. Learning about all his deceit is disturbing. He has built a pattern of behavior and system to continue this dark lifestyle for years to come had I not found out.
To be continued....or not...???
Six months ago I discovered my husband’s infidelity. I just had our third child and then 2 weeks afterwards my husband slept with a prostitute. My husband was only able to take a short amount of time off (1 week) to help with the new baby. But as soon as he returned to work, he looked and found a prostitute since I was not able to give him sex for the next few weeks while I am recovering from childbirth. How I found out was by a bill that came to our house addressed to him from the hospital. It was odd to me since he did not mention anything about going to the hospital. When I asked, he lied and said that it was for a random drug screen at work. It was hard for me to believe so I asked for the results if that was the case. Well, he couldn’t lie his way out of that so he admitted he did go to the hospital to get himself checked out because he was afraid he got an STD from the prostitute. He came clean and confessed that this was not his first time, he had had multiple prostitutes over the course of over 2 years. He became fixated with porn that lead him to the temptation of prostitutes. I was furious. My post-raging hormones were off the charts. When asked why, his excuses were that he felt deprived, wanted something different, and more excitement in our sex life. He doesn’t want a relationship, just sex. It made me more angry at how he tried to compare cheating with prostitutes was less detrimental than having an emotional affair with another woman. Truth was he needed to maintain his web of lies. I think my husband may be a sex addict. He has always had a higher sex drive than me and intimacy to him is sex. So at this point, I am ambivalent about our marriage. I don't want to continue being with a person who is weak and sexually driven. I am hurt and still angry thinking about what he did and the possibility that he could have transmitted an STD to me. His actions were careless and selfish. He doesn’t deny that there’s something wrong with him, but he won’t admit what that can possibly be. He says he wants to change but his actions thus far are contradicting because he only thinks about himself. Is it possible for my husband to change that ingrained trait? I hope HH can provide clarity and hope for me. I’m having a difficult time seeing my husband as a good person now. Learning about all his deceit is disturbing. He has built a pattern of behavior and system to continue this dark lifestyle for years to come had I not found out.