In September, my world came crashing down around me.. again. My now husband, our 4th anniversary is in July, has done this before. 7 years ago, I found he had been cheating on me and addicted to pornography, and my body just shut down. I started having seizures daily, I couldn’t eat or drink anything. I lost myself. He constantly reminded me how bad my bad days were and shamed me. I didn’t do any research, didn’t reach out to anyone and I suffered in silence. I dealt with triggers and the trauma, however I could. he made promises, he obviously didn’t keep. He made me think things were ok. Somehow we made it to a place where I trusted him, were married, and now here I am. We didn’t do any counseling. This time, I’ve scoured your website, read every article. Listened to all the pod casts... and slowly, I am losing myself. Worse than before and don’t see any hope. Not even for myself to ever feel joy again. I feel so distant from everything. I trust nothing. He admitted again to cheating and still being addicted to pornography, and somehow I didn’t see it. I feel terrible about myself, and blame myself for even staying the first time. For a while, I felt hopeful, read as much as I could, but now..... I’m so hopeless, I cry when I read your articles and blog posts. We are broke, because I shut down so bad, I took a personal leave of absence from work. I’m drowning. We are drowning. I need your help so bad. I still daily read what I can, hoping something something with help me make sense of this hell i feel like I will he stuck in forever.
I’ve lost all hope
In September, my world came crashing down around me.. again. My now husband, our 4th anniversary is in July, has done this before. 7 years ago, I found he had been cheating on me and addicted to pornography, and my body just shut down. I started having seizures daily, I couldn’t eat or drink anything. I lost myself. He constantly reminded me how bad my bad days were and shamed me. I didn’t do any research, didn’t reach out to anyone and I suffered in silence. I dealt with triggers and the trauma, however I could. he made promises, he obviously didn’t keep. He made me think things were ok. Somehow we made it to a place where I trusted him, were married, and now here I am. We didn’t do any counseling. This time, I’ve scoured your website, read every article. Listened to all the pod casts... and slowly, I am losing myself. Worse than before and don’t see any hope. Not even for myself to ever feel joy again. I feel so distant from everything. I trust nothing. He admitted again to cheating and still being addicted to pornography, and somehow I didn’t see it. I feel terrible about myself, and blame myself for even staying the first time. For a while, I felt hopeful, read as much as I could, but now..... I’m so hopeless, I cry when I read your articles and blog posts. We are broke, because I shut down so bad, I took a personal leave of absence from work. I’m drowning. We are drowning. I need your help so bad. I still daily read what I can, hoping something something with help me make sense of this hell i feel like I will he stuck in forever.