Heartbroken

I have been with my husband for 24 year, married for 21. In June 2022 he told me he was having an affair after being caught by a family member. This is the second time in 9 years that this has happened. The first incident he was remorseful and wanted to fix what he had done. This time he does not. I am going through the divorce process and most days I don't even know how I'm going to make it through. He was my everything. I believed him when he said he wouldn't do this again. He couldn't keep his promise to me. Why could he not love me the way I loved him? Why am I so easily disposable? Why wasn't I enough? I was a good wife and a committed wife. Why couldn't he give me the same in return? Some days I don't know how to make it through the pain and sadness. I have two teen boys ages 15 and 17. His relationship with them has crumbled. I'm trying my best to the one stable person in their lives but often fail because of my sadness and devastation. Why did God allow me to go through such pain? I didn't deserve this. I pray and talk to God everyday but many days I just feel forgotten. I'm grieving the loss of my marriage. I don't know that I'll ever feel better. Our family of 4 wasn't enough for him to not do this and I don't understand why. I am in desperate need of help so I can be whole again. Be happy. Find joy in life. Be the best mom that I can. It's all too much sometimes.