I have a somewhat unique situation and am so grateful that the answer to my midnight prayers came when scrolling infidelity topics late last night and I came across your Affair Recovery website.
My betrayal was over 10 years ago and it ended my marriage (my decision) and although the details surrounding my betrayal were never fully exposed, I live in fear that one day they will. Since that time, I have made amends with my ex, my kids, and the family members and friends that were hurt. The after-shock and ramifications of my decision and the details of the betrayal continue to haunt me and I think keep me from truly moving forward as I am stuck in feelings of unworthiness, shame, disdain, embarrassment and fear of ever having to truly own this or explain it.
Had I found your program back then, maybe things would have turned out the same, or different. Unfortunately I was so eager to move on from the secrecy of the betrayal that I avoided opening the door to any healing that needed to be done. Instead, I buried the feelings beneath a new relationship and for 7+ years I stuffed it down and covered it up so I didn’t have to look at what I had caused.
Years later, I am finding that you can’t run from your shame, your regret or your feelings of failure. They follow you into everywhere and now into another relationship that deserved honesty that I just didn’t know how to give because owning your mistakes can sometimes feel like it will destroy you.
My reluctance to “own” my past, truly forgive myself, and make as much peace with it – to myself – as I can – is a journey I should have taken long ago. Now, older and hopefully wiser and guided by God, I feel the need to finally ask myself what led this “good girl”, to be a “bad” girl, and then return to a good girl with a past she never likes to talk about.
Even though I would be entering the course with my marital fate already decided, my hope is that Harbouring Hope would give me a new foundation to unbox the past, understand it, allow me to own it fully, learn from it, and be a more complete person that is unafraid of her shadow as I keep becoming the woman and partner I was meant to be.
Please tell me, it is never too late for Harboring Hope!
I have a somewhat unique situation and am so grateful that the answer to my midnight prayers came when scrolling infidelity topics late last night and I came across your Affair Recovery website.
My betrayal was over 10 years ago and it ended my marriage (my decision) and although the details surrounding my betrayal were never fully exposed, I live in fear that one day they will. Since that time, I have made amends with my ex, my kids, and the family members and friends that were hurt. The after-shock and ramifications of my decision and the details of the betrayal continue to haunt me and I think keep me from truly moving forward as I am stuck in feelings of unworthiness, shame, disdain, embarrassment and fear of ever having to truly own this or explain it.
Had I found your program back then, maybe things would have turned out the same, or different. Unfortunately I was so eager to move on from the secrecy of the betrayal that I avoided opening the door to any healing that needed to be done. Instead, I buried the feelings beneath a new relationship and for 7+ years I stuffed it down and covered it up so I didn’t have to look at what I had caused.
Years later, I am finding that you can’t run from your shame, your regret or your feelings of failure. They follow you into everywhere and now into another relationship that deserved honesty that I just didn’t know how to give because owning your mistakes can sometimes feel like it will destroy you.
My reluctance to “own” my past, truly forgive myself, and make as much peace with it – to myself – as I can – is a journey I should have taken long ago. Now, older and hopefully wiser and guided by God, I feel the need to finally ask myself what led this “good girl”, to be a “bad” girl, and then return to a good girl with a past she never likes to talk about.
Even though I would be entering the course with my marital fate already decided, my hope is that Harbouring Hope would give me a new foundation to unbox the past, understand it, allow me to own it fully, learn from it, and be a more complete person that is unafraid of her shadow as I keep becoming the woman and partner I was meant to be.