Desperate for hope and change

My husband and I are “newlyweds,” approaching our one year wedding anniversary. I have been unfaithful to him and we spent the last 6 months apart. We are in couples counseling now while trying to repair from this heartbreak and an additional previous infidelity 5 years ago (on my end as well). We are so desperate to reconnect and build back. The last 9.5 years together has been the best years of my life but I stupidly act in a way that is unbecoming and disrespectful to our marriage. I am trying extremely hard to repair this and he wants to but very hard for us to get over each hurdle. We need Affair Recovery.