For me. The reason I have avoided asking how my wife is, spending time with her is shame. Fear of the reaction. Inability to take the pain anger and rage I have created.
It may be your husband, he (we) never learned how to sit down and talk, share and express empathy.
Instead the approach is to avoid. As a child will run away and hide if they know they have done wrong. He (I) is acting childishly. He hasn't got the skills. Or maybe he doesn't care.
But fear and shame and the lack of emotional maturity has meant I have made most of these mistakes. Now my wife (ex) does not see a future. With or without me.
Charitably, if your husband is like me he cares but does not know how to show it safely.
Not having the courage to talk
For me. The reason I have avoided asking how my wife is, spending time with her is shame. Fear of the reaction. Inability to take the pain anger and rage I have created.
It may be your husband, he (we) never learned how to sit down and talk, share and express empathy.
Instead the approach is to avoid. As a child will run away and hide if they know they have done wrong. He (I) is acting childishly. He hasn't got the skills. Or maybe he doesn't care.
But fear and shame and the lack of emotional maturity has meant I have made most of these mistakes. Now my wife (ex) does not see a future. With or without me.
Charitably, if your husband is like me he cares but does not know how to show it safely.