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These things can slip up on people. I developed a deep friendship with a coworker. She was intelligent and beautiful, plus
we had a lot in common. We even spent some time after work. Looking back, it had become an emotional affair. My wife was working late every night and I left early in the morning for work. We had little or no time together, and on Sundays she caught up on her rest. Only when my coworker left did I realize we had had an emotional affair. There was sexual attraction that we never acted on. My wife and I made some changes, and we reconnected. Today things have never been better. Hopefully you can work out things with your husband, but only if he stops contact with his friend.