I too have been diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma of the discovery of my Husband's infidelity a little over a year ago. We had separated at which time he pursued his AP further until he woke up to the realization that he didn't want to scar his sons, we have 3 and the youngest is 5 oldest 12. I tell you it's been harder during this reconciliation and recovery period than anything I've ever endured. The insecurity, the lack of trust, the lack of love, the lack of respect on both sides. It's as if he blames me for his bad choices and i don't understand how guilt can make someone act so hatefully towards the one they've hurt the most.
Ive had to rely on antidepressants, prayer and meditation and lots of support from my girlfriends. I wonder sometimes if it would be better to start over new with someone completely new and fresh, but I know because of the children I will always have to deal with him. I know that i will never be apart from this person whom I need to let go and forgive completely if we are to continue iinto a new kind of marriage. I've had to stop being sad and angry and just accept. It's the hardest thing i've had to do... to harness these overwhelming emotions and pain and transform them into something that will help me and my family more in the end.
I hope that you can fid that space where you can feel the healing and separate yourself from his reactions. I've had to learn to stop relying on his reactions for validation. That's the co-dependence that i realize had kept us shackled to the unhealthy behaviors. Love thy Self and he will learn how to love you.
I pray you are having a better day and will continue to have more better days than bad ones. I think we need to stop being reminders of their failures and start being the embodiment of hope and future joy and happiness. I know so HARD to do when you are in so much pain.
I feel your pain NoveNotturna
I too have been diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma of the discovery of my Husband's infidelity a little over a year ago. We had separated at which time he pursued his AP further until he woke up to the realization that he didn't want to scar his sons, we have 3 and the youngest is 5 oldest 12. I tell you it's been harder during this reconciliation and recovery period than anything I've ever endured. The insecurity, the lack of trust, the lack of love, the lack of respect on both sides. It's as if he blames me for his bad choices and i don't understand how guilt can make someone act so hatefully towards the one they've hurt the most.
Ive had to rely on antidepressants, prayer and meditation and lots of support from my girlfriends. I wonder sometimes if it would be better to start over new with someone completely new and fresh, but I know because of the children I will always have to deal with him. I know that i will never be apart from this person whom I need to let go and forgive completely if we are to continue iinto a new kind of marriage. I've had to stop being sad and angry and just accept. It's the hardest thing i've had to do... to harness these overwhelming emotions and pain and transform them into something that will help me and my family more in the end.
I hope that you can fid that space where you can feel the healing and separate yourself from his reactions. I've had to learn to stop relying on his reactions for validation. That's the co-dependence that i realize had kept us shackled to the unhealthy behaviors. Love thy Self and he will learn how to love you.
I pray you are having a better day and will continue to have more better days than bad ones. I think we need to stop being reminders of their failures and start being the embodiment of hope and future joy and happiness. I know so HARD to do when you are in so much pain.