About a month ago I was told about being cheated on and realized I was being gaslit and lied to for a year and a half. His affair lasted 9 months, fully physical, and even persisted through us having a brief breakup and reconciliation. Whenever I tried to express my feelings about his hypocrisy, manipulation, deceit, and blatant lying - he responded defensively. He was afraid to agree with what I was saying to him because of his ego. The only way to help your wife is to have humility about your wrong doing, your weakness, and offer without prompt acknowledgement of the pain your behavior has caused. She doesn't want to have to tell you how you wronged her, she wants you to acknowledge it on your own so that she can fully trust that you understood how much damage has been done. Validate her, offer her empathy - it will pay back. I know this is 3 years old, but I just wanted to respond to this. I wish my partner would have done those things, but they didn't.
re- I want my wife healed
About a month ago I was told about being cheated on and realized I was being gaslit and lied to for a year and a half. His affair lasted 9 months, fully physical, and even persisted through us having a brief breakup and reconciliation. Whenever I tried to express my feelings about his hypocrisy, manipulation, deceit, and blatant lying - he responded defensively. He was afraid to agree with what I was saying to him because of his ego. The only way to help your wife is to have humility about your wrong doing, your weakness, and offer without prompt acknowledgement of the pain your behavior has caused. She doesn't want to have to tell you how you wronged her, she wants you to acknowledge it on your own so that she can fully trust that you understood how much damage has been done. Validate her, offer her empathy - it will pay back. I know this is 3 years old, but I just wanted to respond to this. I wish my partner would have done those things, but they didn't.