anonymous that's so sad. it just rips your heart out for sure. here's a good article to have him read: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/after-an-affair-why-co... it may give some insight into why you need to be able to talk about it for a season, then heal and move forward.
keep in mind the internal conflict it creates in him when you want to talk and process, which then moves him to respond out of shame and hurt and confusion. it's a horrible cycle which goes on inside of him that he'll need help to unravel and walk out of. he most certainly can but not on his own. have you been able to get any help? have you considered any of the programs here on the site? the ems weekend or ems online course will help foster a 'safe' environment to talk it through in a safe non shaming way ya know? you may also want to show him some of the articles on the site to see if that helps him realize some things. most of the time we will not hear things from our spouse, but we will 'get it' if you will, when an expert third party shares things with us. that my be an idea to consider? i hope that helps. i'm sorry it's so hard for you both. here is some help with reminders and triggers as well: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/reminders
if i can do anything else to help please let me know.
deflation....
anonymous that's so sad. it just rips your heart out for sure. here's a good article to have him read: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/after-an-affair-why-co... it may give some insight into why you need to be able to talk about it for a season, then heal and move forward.
keep in mind the internal conflict it creates in him when you want to talk and process, which then moves him to respond out of shame and hurt and confusion. it's a horrible cycle which goes on inside of him that he'll need help to unravel and walk out of. he most certainly can but not on his own. have you been able to get any help? have you considered any of the programs here on the site? the ems weekend or ems online course will help foster a 'safe' environment to talk it through in a safe non shaming way ya know? you may also want to show him some of the articles on the site to see if that helps him realize some things. most of the time we will not hear things from our spouse, but we will 'get it' if you will, when an expert third party shares things with us. that my be an idea to consider? i hope that helps. i'm sorry it's so hard for you both. here is some help with reminders and triggers as well: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/reminders
if i can do anything else to help please let me know.