For me the shame is coming from all sides. It is crippling, like another commenter said. I feel shame that I was and still am not good enough. I feel shame that he still doesn't love me "out loud" for everyone to hear and see. I feel shame for trying to save my marriage, when so many people are pressing me to end it. I feel shame for trying to trust him again and shame for the times when I don't trust him and should have. I feel shame that I let this happen to me. I feel shame that I have always thought affairs were wrong, that there was no excuse for it, but here I am defending him and what he did, to my family and friends. I feel shame when I speak of what happened and shame when I try to hide it. I feel shame that I did not do well enough with my own life to be able to take care of my children on my own. I feel shame for taking him for granted in the past when I should have protected our relationship better. I feel shame for taking any of the blame and shame for not taking enough of the blame. I feel shame for even writing this post.
Shaming from all sides
For me the shame is coming from all sides. It is crippling, like another commenter said. I feel shame that I was and still am not good enough. I feel shame that he still doesn't love me "out loud" for everyone to hear and see. I feel shame for trying to save my marriage, when so many people are pressing me to end it. I feel shame for trying to trust him again and shame for the times when I don't trust him and should have. I feel shame that I let this happen to me. I feel shame that I have always thought affairs were wrong, that there was no excuse for it, but here I am defending him and what he did, to my family and friends. I feel shame when I speak of what happened and shame when I try to hide it. I feel shame that I did not do well enough with my own life to be able to take care of my children on my own. I feel shame for taking him for granted in the past when I should have protected our relationship better. I feel shame for taking any of the blame and shame for not taking enough of the blame. I feel shame for even writing this post.