This whole issue really frustrates me, I am the betrayer and I don't actually think I truly know the depth of how bad what I did was. But My desire is to, "own everything I did" and even where others might not be fully accurate I still want to take ownership where I can. The issue is I still struggle with guilt and shame sometimes and talking with certain people it may seem like I am minimizing and I even might be, but if I am approached and told I am minimizing I always go back and let them know that I was and apologize. (I want to know the depth of pain I have caused, I love her and more than anything I want her and I to find healing and wholeness) The problem with all of this is my wife is so hurt and angry that know matter what it seems like, she has consistently said that I minimize what I did. And if I ask how, she gets even angrier. I feel like I'm in my own world doing everything possible to change and she gets angry with almost anything I do. I'm just praying that her heart is softened and in the process I will keep loving her and trying to connect but also own everything! I constantly tell myself, don't get defensive!
Compromise
This whole issue really frustrates me, I am the betrayer and I don't actually think I truly know the depth of how bad what I did was. But My desire is to, "own everything I did" and even where others might not be fully accurate I still want to take ownership where I can. The issue is I still struggle with guilt and shame sometimes and talking with certain people it may seem like I am minimizing and I even might be, but if I am approached and told I am minimizing I always go back and let them know that I was and apologize. (I want to know the depth of pain I have caused, I love her and more than anything I want her and I to find healing and wholeness) The problem with all of this is my wife is so hurt and angry that know matter what it seems like, she has consistently said that I minimize what I did. And if I ask how, she gets even angrier. I feel like I'm in my own world doing everything possible to change and she gets angry with almost anything I do. I'm just praying that her heart is softened and in the process I will keep loving her and trying to connect but also own everything! I constantly tell myself, don't get defensive!