Kylie, thanks for commenting and reading the blog. for now, i have to say it's concerning. for starters your therapist isn't really seeing it for what it is: devastating. and quite honestly you shouldn't be over it by now, especially after the way he seems to be acting. it usually takes a year or so to move beyond the reminders and triggers, AND that's IF you're gaining ground and experiencing true momentum, the likes of what i don't see you saying or seeing. it's sad. he may still be involved. he could just be sitting in indifference, not taking action or doing anything. if i were you, i'd get to the ems weekend if you can and use it as a fleece to see if there is any hope. if he wont' come, then he's probably in it still or dabbling in it or something else and again, if i were you, i'd probably consider separating and taking a huge step back to see what is going on inside of him. this article may help: https://www.affairrecovery.com/dealing-infidelity-how-get-your-mate-cooperate-without-being-controlling i'd also take this approach with him moving forward: https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/is-your-marriage-pleasing-versus-loving it's just too concerning to hear how his actions are sounding right now. having a therapist tell you you should be over it now, its just not fair or true or accurate my friend. this is life altering stuff and takes time and the right kind of help to get through it. what do you think of the weekend? will he come or attend? much of what you have described is normal, BUT normal for a concerning situation...i hope that makes sense to you as i would be concerned about him and his actions and his approach to you. you just don't seem to have covered much ground at all in recovery and are far from any significant momentum it sounds.
kylie....thank you....tough spot for sure