No apology means much without a concrete plan for amends, including (in the case of unfaithful spouses) professional and personal help with staying accountable. Otherwise, it’s just words. Covert (Vulnerable) narcissists, for example, can talk a great game but have much less success with following through when they’re asked to do difficult things - even though one would think that losing their marriage and family also would be difficult, but in my experience, they don’t truly believe that their spouse will leave hem until it’s actually done. That’s one great reason why many spouses should probably separate, at least initially, after D-Day, so that the betrayed person has some space away from the emotional abuse, and the betrayer can experience a real consequence. But I can attest that actions speak much louder than words, and time alone will not heal those wounds.
Also, amends
No apology means much without a concrete plan for amends, including (in the case of unfaithful spouses) professional and personal help with staying accountable. Otherwise, it’s just words. Covert (Vulnerable) narcissists, for example, can talk a great game but have much less success with following through when they’re asked to do difficult things - even though one would think that losing their marriage and family also would be difficult, but in my experience, they don’t truly believe that their spouse will leave hem until it’s actually done. That’s one great reason why many spouses should probably separate, at least initially, after D-Day, so that the betrayed person has some space away from the emotional abuse, and the betrayer can experience a real consequence. But I can attest that actions speak much louder than words, and time alone will not heal those wounds.