You are definitely not alone in your feelings about this very complicated issue. I also couldn't fathom the idea of "celebrating" my wedding anniversary and assumed I would need to use a different date. For me, as time went on and we did some very intense recovery work I felt more neutral about our anniversary, and eventually even shifted toward positive feelings. That doesn't mean it is perfect, but certainly different than I had imagined when we started on this journey. I wrote this blog a couple years ago and my feelings have continued to evolve since then.
I say that only to say that things can change. Whatever you decide is unique to you and you will eventually know what feels right. There is no deadline so there is no need to push yourself to decide or to feel a particular way. If it helps, acceptance or peace did not come easily to me, but I did eventually get there.
Hi Someone in UK
You are definitely not alone in your feelings about this very complicated issue. I also couldn't fathom the idea of "celebrating" my wedding anniversary and assumed I would need to use a different date. For me, as time went on and we did some very intense recovery work I felt more neutral about our anniversary, and eventually even shifted toward positive feelings. That doesn't mean it is perfect, but certainly different than I had imagined when we started on this journey. I wrote this blog a couple years ago and my feelings have continued to evolve since then.
I say that only to say that things can change. Whatever you decide is unique to you and you will eventually know what feels right. There is no deadline so there is no need to push yourself to decide or to feel a particular way. If it helps, acceptance or peace did not come easily to me, but I did eventually get there.
I appreciate your comment and wish you the best.