So helpful and insightful. I recall at some point thinking that I guess I could only get away with this because NO one would EVER think I could or would do something like this. I never cheated on any boyfriend, EVER. I simply was NOT that person. I recall saying to friends years prior, who in the world has the time or energy for an "affair?!" I was above reproach. It was flat out something that I would NEVER do. While my my marital relationship was sinking, and I couldn't name my mild depression around my husband, therefore i saw ZERO warning signs when i ran into an ex-boyfriend all the way back from HS & college. So, although suddenly flying high, I didn't think much of exchanging numbers, having a meal. having a drink, talking on the phone, I mean, we're not living near each other, so what's the problem here?. No alarm bells, AT ALL. Someone turned on the happiness light again. This was, well, a good thing. Not even any real concern that I seemed to be living, waiting for a text or call. Distancing myself further and further from my husband. Like they all say, it was a drug. Even when plans were made to see each other, i justified it. We're old friends and he listens and makes me laugh, we'll just enjoy each other's company, no big deal. I think with most women, it always starts as an emotional affair. We are wired differently and that "connection" as i used to say, is what opens the door to doing something I never thought I could do. Unfortunately, the marriage did not survive, but neither did the AP. I wish I could have seen more warning signs. Maybe it would not have saved the marriage, but it would have saved me years of torturing myself with guilt and profound regret.
insightful
So helpful and insightful. I recall at some point thinking that I guess I could only get away with this because NO one would EVER think I could or would do something like this. I never cheated on any boyfriend, EVER. I simply was NOT that person. I recall saying to friends years prior, who in the world has the time or energy for an "affair?!" I was above reproach. It was flat out something that I would NEVER do. While my my marital relationship was sinking, and I couldn't name my mild depression around my husband, therefore i saw ZERO warning signs when i ran into an ex-boyfriend all the way back from HS & college. So, although suddenly flying high, I didn't think much of exchanging numbers, having a meal. having a drink, talking on the phone, I mean, we're not living near each other, so what's the problem here?. No alarm bells, AT ALL. Someone turned on the happiness light again. This was, well, a good thing. Not even any real concern that I seemed to be living, waiting for a text or call. Distancing myself further and further from my husband. Like they all say, it was a drug. Even when plans were made to see each other, i justified it. We're old friends and he listens and makes me laugh, we'll just enjoy each other's company, no big deal. I think with most women, it always starts as an emotional affair. We are wired differently and that "connection" as i used to say, is what opens the door to doing something I never thought I could do. Unfortunately, the marriage did not survive, but neither did the AP. I wish I could have seen more warning signs. Maybe it would not have saved the marriage, but it would have saved me years of torturing myself with guilt and profound regret.