Thank you Jen for this blog. Like you I too thought I would be ‘over the pain’ in 6 months max. I threw myself into the work - anything I could think might take away the excruciating pain (therapists, online courses, meditation, exercise, hypnotherapy, EDMR & much more). All of it helped a little but in the end it came down to time. I found incremental improvements happened followed by setbacks every so often. Didn’t help 6 months post D-day I found out the AP & my husband had been secretly in contact via email. Which in turn revealed further lies he had told me. The trust that I had clawed back went right out the window. So I had to start again.
Now I am 5 years past D-day and much happier. One year ago we renewed our marriage vows. Just us two on a secluded beach at sunrise - it was perfect. More importantly it marked a moving on for us.
Do I still think about it? I’d be lying if I said No. I do. But mostly just with a little sadness that it happened to us. Don’t know why I thought I was immune to this happening in our 35 year marriage but it was a HUGE wake up call & definitely one I didn’t want or deserve but now I feel our marriage is more honest & we both guard it with a new sense of importance than we did in the past. My advice to anyone newly betrayed would be keep going one day at a time & one day you’ll find it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.
The Most Painful Journey
Thank you Jen for this blog. Like you I too thought I would be ‘over the pain’ in 6 months max. I threw myself into the work - anything I could think might take away the excruciating pain (therapists, online courses, meditation, exercise, hypnotherapy, EDMR & much more). All of it helped a little but in the end it came down to time. I found incremental improvements happened followed by setbacks every so often. Didn’t help 6 months post D-day I found out the AP & my husband had been secretly in contact via email. Which in turn revealed further lies he had told me. The trust that I had clawed back went right out the window. So I had to start again.
Now I am 5 years past D-day and much happier. One year ago we renewed our marriage vows. Just us two on a secluded beach at sunrise - it was perfect. More importantly it marked a moving on for us.
Do I still think about it? I’d be lying if I said No. I do. But mostly just with a little sadness that it happened to us. Don’t know why I thought I was immune to this happening in our 35 year marriage but it was a HUGE wake up call & definitely one I didn’t want or deserve but now I feel our marriage is more honest & we both guard it with a new sense of importance than we did in the past. My advice to anyone newly betrayed would be keep going one day at a time & one day you’ll find it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.