Erick, I found your story so similar to my own that I had to share it with my wife, who was unfaithful. The pedestal that I had put her up on was so high, that her fall from it was like her crashing down from orbit. I honestly had never trusted or felt safe with another human being in my entire life until I met her. Finally I had found someone who would never hurt me. Someone who loved me unconditionally. Of course I now know that such faith and dependency are very unhealthy, and it was me reacting to my own damage that put me in that place. It was her decision to be unfaithful and to hurt me, but it was my own fault for being so susceptible to a pain this big.
We are working toward a more healthy relationship, based on honesty, and intentional love. We know each other and ourselves so much better than we ever had before. We communicate better than we ever have before, and in many ways I feel closer to her than ever. We're trying to heal, and every day is a god awful struggle for me. But I have hope. She is really working on her issues and doing anything she can to prove to me her serious desire to never hurt me again that way. She's digging into her family of origin issues, as am I. I never realized until last year that I had been physically abused when I was young. I discovered it through a flashback, which was probably knocked loose by the trauma of her betrayal. The traumas of my youth set me on a path to here. But I now have the benefit of understanding what they are and how they have affected me, and can now finally do something about it. Become healthier for me.
Anyways, thank you again for sharing your story. It has enabled me to see a lot of myself, but from a different perspective, and it has been extremely helpful to me.
Erick, I found your story so
Erick, I found your story so similar to my own that I had to share it with my wife, who was unfaithful. The pedestal that I had put her up on was so high, that her fall from it was like her crashing down from orbit. I honestly had never trusted or felt safe with another human being in my entire life until I met her. Finally I had found someone who would never hurt me. Someone who loved me unconditionally. Of course I now know that such faith and dependency are very unhealthy, and it was me reacting to my own damage that put me in that place. It was her decision to be unfaithful and to hurt me, but it was my own fault for being so susceptible to a pain this big.
We are working toward a more healthy relationship, based on honesty, and intentional love. We know each other and ourselves so much better than we ever had before. We communicate better than we ever have before, and in many ways I feel closer to her than ever. We're trying to heal, and every day is a god awful struggle for me. But I have hope. She is really working on her issues and doing anything she can to prove to me her serious desire to never hurt me again that way. She's digging into her family of origin issues, as am I. I never realized until last year that I had been physically abused when I was young. I discovered it through a flashback, which was probably knocked loose by the trauma of her betrayal. The traumas of my youth set me on a path to here. But I now have the benefit of understanding what they are and how they have affected me, and can now finally do something about it. Become healthier for me.
Anyways, thank you again for sharing your story. It has enabled me to see a lot of myself, but from a different perspective, and it has been extremely helpful to me.