bor, i'm sorry. that's tough to deal with. the fact is, she can't just 'forget' them. she maybe selectively choosing not to remember them or just block them out, but shame plays a huge role. we don't want to remember the things that make us feel terrible or embarrassed. she needs to get some help to understand these things as she won't hear them from you. you remind her of her choices and her failings. she will need outside, third party, expert help. the course on the site will help her immensely: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing i wouldn't put it on her calendar. but i would ask her to get help for outside, expert perspective on what these dates do to you personally and how they impact your life. i would also tell her that letting go of the past and moving on isn't easy nor possible without compassion from the unfaithful and without expert help to deal with the pain of it all.
ugh, so tough to do...
bor, i'm sorry. that's tough to deal with. the fact is, she can't just 'forget' them. she maybe selectively choosing not to remember them or just block them out, but shame plays a huge role. we don't want to remember the things that make us feel terrible or embarrassed. she needs to get some help to understand these things as she won't hear them from you. you remind her of her choices and her failings. she will need outside, third party, expert help. the course on the site will help her immensely: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/hope-for-healing i wouldn't put it on her calendar. but i would ask her to get help for outside, expert perspective on what these dates do to you personally and how they impact your life. i would also tell her that letting go of the past and moving on isn't easy nor possible without compassion from the unfaithful and without expert help to deal with the pain of it all.