Q&A Can You Explain to me the Psychology Behind this Behavior?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


During my husband’s affair he and his affair partner brought our families together to be friends. I can't wrap my mind around this behavior. Why would 2 people that are having an affair purposely bring their families together in social settings? Did they get some sick high out of being all together with this secret between them? Were they using us to spend more time together? Or as my father suggested, was it some weird psychological thing that deep down they wanted to bring people they "liked" together without thinking about how sick and twisted it actually was? Or was it some kind of passive aggressive thing towards us, their spouses? In this case they started having us hang out just as they started to have romantic feelings for each other and continued it AFTER they stopped their physical relationship. So it wasn't like we were all friends before the affair started. They continued this "friendship" for about 4 months after the last time they slept together until we moved out of state. After that they continued their emotional affair (off and on) for another year until I discovered it. They saw each other twice during that year but never slept together. I feel so disgusted and like my husband hated me to act like this. Please help me understand the psychology behind his behavior.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas