My wife is the unfaithful. We are 9 months out. Most of the reading in the chapters assumes that the betrayed spouse is 100% committed and the unfaithful spouse is the one that is ambivalent. It seems that we are the exception in that she is 100% committed and doing everything she can to reconcile, yet I am the one that is still waffling. I am not sure I can learn to love her like I want to love my wife. Can you speak to this and especially about past couples where the betrayed husband has learned to love his unfaithful wife unconditionally? It's not that I'm still angry or unwilling to forgive. It is that I keep asking myself do I want this person to be my wife when I could possibly have somebody else that hasn't hurt me so bad.