Q&A How Do I Forgive Myself for the Ways I Reacted as the Betrayed?

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After D-day I changed into someone I don't even recognize. I said some horrible things to my husband and there were days when I could barely take care of my children. I am racked with guilt over what they went through during those days where they were left zoned out in front of the TV while I was in bed crying. How do I forgive that? Even worse, I made some huge, huge mistakes with the affair partner - some that involved basically begging her to leave my husband alone which I am so ashamed of now and the worst is something I did afterward that could come back and leave us with some really serious legal issues. My husband and I are working hard on our recovery but I am really struggling to forgive myself. I am also struggling with knowing that the actions I took with the affair partner may come back to haunt us down the line legally. Now that we are in a better place and I am looking back at the destruction I am horrified of my actions. How do I move on from this shame?



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-D, Texas