Q&A What Can I Do If I Now Have Too Much Detail?

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D-day was 7 months ago and I have tried the 24-hour rule. Some of my questions I have held on to for months. I now have a pretty good picture, including sexual positions. In a recent discussion it came out that my husband and his affair partner did something together that previously he said they hadn't and which he has been doing with me. I specifically asked him not to do anything with me that he did with her. He says he didn't lie on purpose and that the details of their two sexual encounters are foggy since he wants to forget it, which I think is a convenient way of minimizing it. Now I'm obsessed with knowing what else they might have done. I am also obsessed with comparisons, as he most definitely affaired up - she has seemingly surgically enhanced breasts and is several years younger than me, single with no children and I have seen enough photos on social media to know she is pretty proud of how she looks. In contrast I do not wear revealing clothing, and the only parts of my body that have been altered are thanks to gravity and breastfeeding. My husband always told me I was beautiful, always seemed attracted to me and told me often he could never be attracted to anyone as much as me. Yet the evidence proves otherwise. Is there anything I can do now that I have so much detail and the intrusive thoughts haunt me daily? Will I ever stop believing that he truly wants someone like that or stop feeling like I am less than? I know it is my fault for asking.



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