Q&A What More Can I Do to Become Safe for Her and Rebuild Our Relationship?

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I am 6 months from initial discovery regarding an emotional and physical work affair that occurred over last summer, in a business both my wife and I own, and 4 weeks from the last and final discovery. We have attended the EMS Weekend, Beyond EMS, and personal/individual counseling for several months. After the last discovery my wife and I have separated. Although things were going well I continued to deny key elements of my affair she knew were true. This led to increasing her severe emotional trauma. This has affected every aspect of our lives. I now answer every question honestly. I am an unfaithful that loves my spouse very much and desperately wants to be safe for both her and myself so she can heal. We are still seeking individual counseling. She just started Harboring Hope and I begin Hope for Healing soon. I have made every mistake along the way but am determined to right things for my family and bettering/learning about myself daily. My wife is in a bad place due to the affair and prolonged discovery. She refuses couples therapy at this time, but we do spend individual and family time together. She often speaks of never being able to trust me again to move forward together. What more can I do to become safe for her and rebuild our relationship? Besides our three children she is my everything. I miss my friend.



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