Her fairytale/romantic story to justify WHY she had affairs…. In 1993 emotional/physical affair... “I was taken by him, it was an intense attraction, he was good looking, he was charming, funny blah blah blah, she liked the attention, the compliments the flirting etc.” May 2024 sexting affair (same AP as above) – “I felt bad for him, he got me curious, I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. I liked the romanticizing, my ego would puff up, I liked the pictures of myself (vanity), I liked sexting and creating sexual fantasies with the AP". I get her WHY and it does absolutely nothing for me, other than to realize her deficiencies and lack of care for me. I feel like a fool staying in a relationship like this, actually insane and out of integrity. Infidelity three times, twice with the same AP. Why take another chance with this wife? I feel like the cuts are too deep, irreparable. I don’t want to control her and know I cannot control her. The future is based on her self-control, self-awareness, ability to change etc. Therefore, there is no safety for me. She has been this person her whole life. How does she just change? How likely is it she would or could change? She has always been confrontational when told she needs to change her ways, even when fully justified. It’s a huge gamble one I am not comfortable taking.