Q&A Is His Guilt Truly about the Affair or about Being Caught?

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Question: 

I am truly struggling with my husband’s guilt. D-Day was seven months ago, I found evidence on his computer. It all went downhill from here; this was nothing I ever suspected. It has since come to light that the affair was about 2 1/4 years long and sexual for 18 months. The partner was a much younger coworker. My husband states he has guilt over the affair but has admitted he didn’t always feel guilty after having sex with her. Most of the time he feels guilty, but not always, especially if there was more alcohol involved. So I struggle with this immensely and believe I am stuck with any movement towards both understanding and forgiveness. How could he not have guilt about the sex yet feel guilty about the affair? Is his guilt truly about the affair or about being caught?

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