Q&A How Can I Ever Feel Comfortable Being in a Place with My Husband without Searching for Women Whom I Know Fit His Sexual Criteria?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My husband has a sexual addiction and it has a sexual template of a certain women, how she looks and acts. How can I ever feel comfortable being in a place with him without searching for women whom I know meet his sexual criteria? These women are between the ages of 30-45, attractive, and respond to flirting. How can I trust that the work he has done with addiction and EMS will prevent these triggers even when he is in a place where no one could find out and he could get away with this? I find it so hard to trust him, as he believes he would never do this again. With everything I read about sexual addiction, this starts with a visualization of a woman that triggers a fantasy in his mind that he could have her. He may not even be aware of the road that he started going down in order to pull back. He is so flattered by female attention. I can clearly see this when I compare him with a normal man who can carry on a conversation with women without it having any sexual exploration. I feel very despondent not being able to trust him because even with all the therapy he has had he remains sexually very immature with women. Please give any advice on how to remain faithful and trusting without feeling I’m being disrespected or that I have to keep a constant eye on him.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas