Q&A How Do I Get over the Sexual Things My Husband Would Do with His AP, but Not with Me?

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I have been dealing with the knowledge of my husband's sex addiction for 4 years. This spring he had a four month affair with a coworker, prior to this affair, his infidelities had never been with a person in close proximity. So, it was physical for the first time. They would meet several times a week in her car to kiss and talk, then met twice in our home for sex. I am having a hard time with the kissing and oral sex he performed on her both times. We have been married 27 years and rarely kissed passionately and he has only performed oral sex on me a dozen or so times. A few years ago we discussed that he didn't enjoy it and I certainly didn't want him doing something we didn't both enjoy. After a short separation in July, we met up again at our EMS weekend, he couldn't get enough kissing, after I came home it continued for two weeks and has now stopped. I have brought up twice that I have missed this interaction (kissing) and feel hurt that he would perform oral sex for her when he didn't want to with me. He says he only did it because she asked and he wanted to perform for her. This leaves me feeling unworthy, not deserving, hurt and confused about why he loved kissing me at first, but now has no interest.



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