Q&A How Do I Give up This Need That Is Always in the Back of My Mind?

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Question: 

We are 7 months out from discovery. My wife had 2 affairs over the previous 3 years. The last one was a sexual affair lasting 8 months. It ended shortly before discovery. We have been married 22 years. We both came from restrictive religious families, and were both virgins on our wedding night. We haven’t been religious for the last 12 years. I have developed resentment for my upbringing and never having “sewed my wild oats”. I am now not my wife’s only sexual partner, but she is still mine. I feel this need to even the score. Though I know it would blow up our improving marriage. A marriage that while challenging is more honest and authentic then it’s ever been. How do I give up this need that is always in the back of my mind?

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