How can I deal with friends and family pretending that they don't know what is going on? And choosing to remain friends with the AP? I avoid most of the people who have chosen to do this, but occasionally, I'll notice that family members will quickly shut down their social media (or worse, whispering not to tell me something) as I come into the room. It's not my business who other people choose to remain friends with, but it hurts. How do I remain respectful to elders who aren't respectful to me? The affair is over and my spouse is trying hard to make up for everything, but I know he wouldn't tell me if his family was telling him about what his AP is doing now.