What I think they see, is my husband buying lots of gifts which I have explained to him is not what I need for closure. For clarity, my husband has not disclosed anything, he has also refused to admit to anything except what I found out, or talk about his affairs. All he has ever said that resembles an admission is that he had inappropriate conversations with a few close female friends. He blames me for his affairs and says he doesn't need counseling and has done no recovery work. Am I being unreasonable in insisting he does recovery work and refusing to engage with him till he does that? I don't want my children to blame me if the marriage doesn't work out.