Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Mickey and Stephanie's Mentor Video

Below you will find a video from one of our mentor couples that is included in our Free 7 Day Bootcamp and the full length version is included with EMS Online for couples. . They share their difficult journey through infidelity including sex addiction and a child born from an affair.

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further help for sex addiction

Submitted by Christina (not verified) on

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I live in Austin. We haven't had any luck finding a good sex addiction therapist for him, which makes him feel like his recovery is being delayed and is very discouraging. Can someone please recommend sex addiction therapists for us to go see here in Austin?

Yes there's help

Submitted by 1955roo on

Hi.
Check out "Heart to Heart" in Colorado Springs. the founder is a dude named Doug Weiss.
It is a clinic/centre that offers:
Sex Addiction counselling for Addicts;
Partners counselling for spouses of Addicts;
Workbooks;
Groups (phone-in or live, depending on if there's a group in your area);
Intensives for individuals and couples;

I've never been, but my spouse and I do the workbooks, go to groups every week, and have done some phone-in couples counselling with one of their couples therapists.

I know that in the U.S., sex addiction is not recognized as an addiction, therefore limited therapists offering help in this area (insurance purposes? liability?). However, the World Health Organization does recognize sex addiction as real and harmful, so you might be able to find some quality sex addiction/partners recovery therapists in Canada, or Europe.

Mickey and Stephanie

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on

Hi there

I live in South Africa and 4 months ago found out my husband was having an affair. Turns out he had been with 3 prostitutes and one of them he fell in love with. After a year she then contacted me to tell me she was pregnant with his child. Your story was the only one Ive since heard that is remotely similar to mine. My husband and I are now living apart but are trying to deal with what has happened and looking at reconciling our marriage. Id really like to get involved in a support group with people with similar stories but cant find anything here. Is there a possible way of getting involved with affair recovery so i could become part of a group. thanks Lisa

Decision about affair child

Submitted by susan12 on

How did Mickey and Stephanie manage the relationship with the affair partners child? Curious?

Decision about affair child

Submitted by susan12 on

How did Mickey and Stephanie manage the relationship with the affair partners child? Curious?

Decision about affair child

Submitted by susan12 on

How did Mickey and Stephanie manage the relationship with the affair partners child? Curious?

Mickey and Stephanie

Submitted by gocass on

I watched both of their videos, in the boot camp and EMS Online. Their situation seems very similar to my own. They said there was a lawyer to draw up papers for the child? Even once you as a couple come to a decision about the child there is the AP which may have their own motivations. They also spoke how Mickey had to get to a place of healing to be the father his children deserved. I would like more advice and insight on how they handled this if possible. We are feeling lost in how to proceed.

Ever get a Response to this?

Submitted by strongr2gether on

We are in a similar situation and I too am having difficulties finding similar couples/ situations. It's SO tricky as there is ongoing interaction with the AP, even with good boundaries, as there is that forever connection due to innocent child. My stepson is 3 years old. I found out about his existence when he was 1.5yrs old (although my spouse was involved with him the entire time). We also went thru a lawyer to establish basic visitation and child support as prior to retaining the lawyer the AP was being very manipulative. She still is and it is painful, but we have court ordered visitation (standard visitation in state of Texas) and that has helped some.
We are also looking for a mentoring couple or a like-situation group to bounce life and recovery off of.
Reach out if you ever see this!!!

Response

Submitted by gocass on

No, I have never received a response. Still very curious about the paperwork Mickey drew up for the child. We are at a breaking point. Several very bad events have happened. We did hire a lawyer same as you set child support and standard visitation in the state of Texas as well. I let the unfaithful my husband lead in these decisions, I did not make the choices. He suggested the AP communicate with me pertaining to the child and that led to us not seeing the child for 5 months, he had his mother try to be the mediator and that led to his mother saying she was never ever to contact her again, and when she contacts him pertaining to the child he comes home in fits of rage and our children must witness it. The child seems to get along well with our children and is very happy the few times we have gotten her. I treat her as my own, however the mother is very resentful, manipulative and it seems worse since we set boundaries. She is actually refusing to follow visitation orders and it has become a huge financial and emotional stress for us even to the point of affecting our children. We voluntarily send more child support than necessary every month and it is met with ungratefulness. It seems if our boundaries are enforced and the AP cannot have access to my spouse the financial support will be our only involvement in the child’s life. This is breaking his heart, and affecting our children’s years with him as well as mine. I am not sure what to do, as it seems we keep failing and it is affecting all of us very badly.

Your comments resonated w/ me re your struggles and healing

Submitted by Theresa Evenbly (not verified) on

Goodness. Your story is so very heartbreaking. I can relate to answering God's call to restore this marriage because it does take very ounce of one's being to cling to the only thing that makes sense and will never disappoint and that's Jesus. But oh, how I grieved and I knew Jesus grieved too. My story is not as earth shattering as Stephanie's but still the trauma still freezes me at times. It's been 20 years since D day. But how did Stephanie heal from her own self image regarding these multiple disclosures? Was Mickey able to help in this process? Is he even sensitized to her needs and wounds? Honestly, he does not come across very loving in the few videos I watched. How was she able to write that love story? I know every morning I choose to find another way to fall in love with my husband, but honestly, I still struggle that I am not lovable enough to my husband. For me the trauma was that I had 2 husbands who did the same thing, same sex addiction to me. What is so horrible about me that this happens? My pastor stated that this rampant infidelity is just a very sad reflection on the state of our men in this world. As a Catholic, I offer up this anguish in prayers for the salvation of others, but will I ever heal from this woundedness? WHEN?

What type of affair was it?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas