Q&A What Do You Advise for Me to Set Safe Boundaries and Expectations?

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Hi I’m one week from the one year anniversary of Discovery. I’ve had a hard road so far and find myself feeling lost with no real plan that seems to work. I’ve pushed things on my spouse to read because she doesn’t and hasn’t shown empathy. She had a 5 year long affair that started shortly after we began dating. I discovered pictures, videos, old text messages. She showed little remorse then turned my family against me by calling them behind my back while I was in shock. Her parents want to spare her pain and have not been helpful for our recovery. I have ptsd and struggle with my reactions. I call time outs but they are rarely respected and my flooding emotions go overboard. I’ve hit walls and yelled hurtful things. I want to be understood as to how deeply I am hurt. I want to know why every time I try to explain my hurt she turns it into how bad my reactions are as her reason for not showing empathy. When I set boundaries she threatens to take our son to California with her parents. I’m hurt because I invested all my heart and trust in a lie. My relationship with God is closer than ever. I’m hoping for a real plan or boundaries/expectations if I am going to continue my journey of healing in this marriage. Is it fair of me to ask for a 50/50 child custody contract? Thank you both so much for what you do. I just enrolled in men's HH and she is in hope for healing.



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