I’m ten months past discovery, surviving 2 emotional relapses after my wife’s sexual & emotional affair. She moved out initially and again after an emotional relapse in month 3. She comes home on weekends to spend time with me and our kids. We tried reconciliation unsuccessfully and we are both currently enrolled in the Hope programs. She’s still defensive when I ask about interaction with the affair partner at work, and she won’t engage in emotional discussions, though she indicates concern over growing apart. I don’t feel like I can handle more relapses or defensiveness. I’m considering separating fully until we finish the programs then re-evaluate. Do you have any insight on working on us while working individually vs limiting work to individually healing first?