It's so horrible that anniversary dates can become triggers. I found out after our 11th year of marriage. We had even had a ten year vow renewal the previous year! It was because we eloped years ago to save money, and we wanted to celebrate our love over the years. I was shocked to know then infidelity occurred even after the vow renewal. I've since sold my engagement ring too, since the affair took place over most of marriage, and was used for a previous engagement of my husband’s. We are wearing silicone bands for now, until we get new ones. So it's one way of letting go. I would love any advice on keeping triggers at bay on special days.