Q&A Where Do I Go from Here?

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Question: 

After 15 years together my husband and I finally got married (Spring 2015). Six months later while away for work my husband started a physical and emotional affair. In early January 2016 I asked him to leave the house because of his drinking. He decided at that point he wasn't coming home and told me about the affair. He continued the affair for another year, however I still have no proof it's really over. He has "ended" it on multiple occasions "his" own way. His way typically involves having a conversation with her where he says they shouldn't talk anymore. He however does not block her in any way, become transparent, etc so the affair starts up again. I have reiterated over and over the NO contact rule, but he just does not want to hear it. He believes he can “wean” himself off her. The most frustrating part of all of this is that I know he does not want to be in a romantic relationship with her. Over the last year I have implemented many boundaries, including moving out when he came back home, ceasing all contact with him for months on end, etc. Sadly enough this is not the first time he has cheated, although it is the first time he has sustained a relationship with an AP. I am not sure what to do anymore. Just a quick note, neither my husband nor I are religious but appreciate the info AR has to provide.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas