Q&A Why Can't I Get over the Affair Even Though My Husband Is Doing All the Work to Rebuild?

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I feel I have all the answers I need and do understand the psychological aspects that led to the affair. We have done different types of counseling, read everything we could, talked and talked and talked. He is truly showing remorse and working hard to reestablish a new better marriage but yet I can't get passed the affair! We have established how manipulated he truly was on a drunken night away from home. We have seen the connections of the AP to his abusive mom. We have learned how his shame based childhood kept him in this vicious cycle of feeling worthless & then euphoric cuz of what should've been a one night stand that he allowed the manipulation and emotional blackmail to continue. We have explored how past resentments and misunderstandings were used as his justifications for what he did. I truly understand all of this and believe it yet I still can't believe he did it! Why cant I just appreciate all the work and move forward enjoying a better marriage without still thinking about this? (It was a 5 month affair that I learned abt 8 months ago)



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