Q&A Why Is He Still So Defensive?

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Question: 

My unfaithful husband seems to get upset any time I ask to see his phone. He was involved in a year emotional affair with his ex. He will show me but he says he is upset because he feels if he was in my shoes he wouldn’t be asking to do so. His actions have showed a change but he continues to be mad which makes me feel bad. He is the one who cheated so we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. We are currently in marriage and individual counseling. I feel if he wants to prove he can be trusted then what is the big deal me asking to see his phone. He will show me but he gets bothered. He tells me he has no feelings for AP and never even had any romantic feelings for her but he is not sure why he did it. He has showed remorse and tells me how much he regrets it but we are struggling in recovery as he does not seem to get what I’m going through and what I need.

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