Q&A Can I Heal the Relationship With My Best Friend After Her Cheating With My Husband?

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Question: 

Needing some clear perspective as it has only been 9 weeks since discovery day. My husband ended the 16 month affair 2 weeks later. We started seeing a counselor later that same week and thankfully found the AR site the following week. We started your EMSO class at week 6. Huge thanks to you and your team for guiding us through this horrible time... Here is my struggle- the discovery was absolutely soul-crushing as his AP is my best friend of over 30 years. This has completely devasted me with the realization that the 2 people I love the most could conspire to deceive (and hurt) me like this. The pain feels magnified multiple times from this double betrayal and it is simply overwhelming. (At this point, she has not yet told her husband about the affair.) I am becoming hopeful about my marriage- as we are both committed to doing whatever work is necessary to heal- and this is my highest priority. But- am I crazy to hope that she and I can heal our friendship and recover - in a truly healthy way - from this deep wound? Do you have any guidance on how this could be done? I know it sounds strange even saying this- but I still love her too- and would like to see our friendship healed as well- if possible.

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