Q&A Can You Help Me Explain Why What My Husband Is Doing Isn't Working?

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Could you please help me put words to what happens to the betrayed when there has not been disclosure in more than 7 months. We have attended the EMS Weekend and now we continue with BEMS. He says the information has been so helpful but still he has not helped me to “wrap my brain around what he has done”. The information I found through his text is quite extensive. He lied and told me his main affair was over when I confronted him and that he was sorry and wanted to repair our relationship. I found out 2½ months later that he was still continuing contact with her. He has confirmed very little yet tells me that some of the things I think I know are not the way it was. He says he wants to tell me and is working on getting there. He does not make an effort to make things safe for me even though I have told him that things he continues to do are triggers for me like his locked phone. His reasoning is, he has always done that. I question who I am and who I really want to be going forward. I am so stuck. I feel sometimes that it would be better for me to end things and process what I know to be true because that’s all I have, so that I can start to be free of this pain.



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