My wife of 30 years had an affair with a coworker. Yes we had some issue in our marriage but never yelling, throwing things etc. My wife also has had a drinking problem for years. She is not happy with herself at all for many reasons she states and goes throughout the day trying to get others to like her and when that doesn't happen, she plummets and states the world is against her. I do my best in trying to help her and trying to get her to see that in God's eyes, SHE IS PERFECT. My question is this: Can somebody who hates themselves for so many stated reasons and is so negative on life really love somebody else and be intimate with them? Can this type of personality trait be able to heal enough to help their betrayed spouse heal, show empathy and build a happy marriage?