Q&A Do I Need to Separate from This Crazy Situation?

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Question: 

My situation is strange. My husband and I are both doing recovery work. I’m doing HH and he’s in H4H. But it seems like he is telling me that he’s doing the work but avoiding me as part of recovery. He says he wants to stay married and that he never wanted to lose me. He is using work as a reason to avoid dealing with everything. He’s too tired too busy and too distracted to check in or pursue a relationship with me. We have agreed to not involve the kids and so he seems to be home when the kids are also home. There’s always a reason not to connect. I’m always jeopardizing his job his health by needing his presence. I get a sliver of time late at night when he’s too exhausted and the kids are hovering. He shows little concern throughout the day to connect in any way. I’m alone. I’m isolated. And I feel as if I’m trapped in a void without love or attention or concern. If I have any needs I’m reminded that I had my turn already and his job is top priority. The days are long and empty. I’m putting on a great act for the kids sake. But they can see that I’m breaking. How does this tactic help us? Are there resources to help me understand why I’m told I’m loved but not shown much consideration? Do I need to separate from this crazy situation? Betrayal is brutal. Betrayal plus dismissal and mixed messages is vicious and even more painful.

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