Q&A Is He Still Intentionally Lying to Me and Not Telling Me Everything?

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Question: 

My husband has not admitted that he was in "love" with his affair partner while he was having his 2nd affair with her in 2017. However, I have the texts where he clearly tells her that he "loves her" that he "wishes she really loved him" and texts where he cuts up his arm and basically starts talking about death and suicide. I have brought this up several times since I found those texts 3 years ago. He used to say "I was drunk" or "I forgot. Then he said he was trying to make her feel guilty or manipulate her into giving up the rental house they once shared. Now he says he was "just flooded." This just doesn't ring true to me based on my lifelong relationship with my husband. I feel like he is not telling me everything and this was more than a "physical affair." Also, he shared his Affair Analyzer with me and it also indicates there was an emotional component, but he quickly downplayed this part as his affair analyzer also said at the beginning that it may never have happened at all if alcohol wasn't involved. What are your thoughts? Is he still intentionally lying to me and not telling me everything? I just don't believe his explanations and it is making it harder to heal.

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