I have asked my wife to do low cost behaviors like, writing a note to me about things she likes about me or things I do that she appreciates. She has not done this more than a few times usually right after I bring it up in counseling. I have also asked her to devote as much time with me as she did with her affair partner. She has not done that either. We are almost 3 years from the first D-Day and February of 2017 was the last time I know she was tempted enough that she drafted and email but did not send it. She will do marriage counseling only and has refuses to do EMS Online or Hope for Healing. What am I up against? I don't really have all that much faith that the marriage counseling is going to ask her the questions to dig into why she had the affair. Are there any books she might read that would get her to think internally? Would EFT counseling help? I feel very stuck.